Show Me the Stretch Marks

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"Hey, Ian, can you come move this box a little so I can get my bike through?."

"Oh, yeah, sure."

"Just a little more please son, I need to park my bike right there by the radiator."

"Oh, yes, Right, because you're the only one privileged enough to park your bike in the house while the rest of us have to take ours all the way to the back!"

"Yep. You wanna fight about it, or d'you want to push out three babies?"

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(he moved the box)

Status Quo

"Hi Mom, how was your day at work?"

"Pretty good."

"So did anyone come into your office with so much blood gushing from their nose it soaked their shirt today?"

"Nope. Not today."

"Well, did anyone come by who fell on his back on the playground and really got more scared than hurt and just needed you to say 'you're okay' before you sent him back out to play?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Hmmm... Did a little girl come in to tell you that she had stabbed her own knee with a pencil?"

"Again, no."

"But for sure someone came limping in for an ice pack because she twisted her ankle at P.E.?"

"As a matter of fact, nope."

"No one came to your office to say that they had thrown up in the toilets and might need to do it again RIGHT NOW?"

"Sadly, no, son."

"So, let me get this straight, none of these things happened today?"

"Nope, not a one."

"Wow, you had a really boring day today"

"Yep. You got it. Some days are like that I guess."