Sweet Memory

If you follow my blog with any frequency, you will remember that recently I lost a very dear friend, who days before she passed, lost her first child as well. To say that the situation is surreal is to understate it grandly. To say that one doesn't bounce quickly from that level of grief is to sum it up correctly.


There is not a day that passes that I don't think of Jessica.


In the immediate days following her death, I felt the need to do something to mark her passing. Something that would help keep her memory close.


Upon the inspiration from Allison of Soccer Mom in Denial, I thought perhaps a piece of jewelry might be fitting. From there I contacted Crystal who, along with her mother, runs the business TWO BELLES AND A BEAD, and whom I have turned to in the past to create lovely pieces for others in my life. This time it would be my turn. With Crystal's guidance and artistic eye, using my awkward descriptions via email, we created together a remembrance piece.
Then she created 2 necklaces, one for Jessica's mother and one for me.



So I can carry her close to my heart.



As I told her mom in the accompanying letter with the gift, the design of this piece was purposeful in design and intention. The pink crystal represents Jessica herself (for all the metophorical reasons you can imagine) and the star which hangs there with her represents her son Jason. The two are together, surrounded by love, and collectively is the poetic vision of where I believe she is now, dancing with her baby among the stars.


I love this piece. And I love my friend.


If you do nothing else today, do this:
Tell someone how much you love them.

Because I Loved Her

In celebration
I walk out to the ocean
and begin to dance

Arms reaching upward
Bare feet sinking in the sand
My body whirling

Spontaneous laugh;
my voice echos in my ears
Replacing the tears

Autumn sun setting
My heart thumping, beating strong;
Memories rising

Tired, I stand still now
Letting my breath rise and fall
While joy fills me up

Brushing sand from toes
Wrapping shawl around shoulders
I make my way home

Feeling blessed, alive
hoping now when I leave here
One will dance for me

Remember, I Remember

This is my friend Jessica.

Jessica and I taught in neighboring classrooms at Awakening Seed School in Phoenix for many years. She is a young, vibrant woman with a remarkable ability to make everyone (child, parent and colleague) around her feel loved and cherished. I loved to visit in her classroom, whether as the Movement Specialist working with her students, or as the whiny co-worker looking for a little venting session with a good listener. Either way, it was a joy to be around Jessica. Always smiling, always ready with a hug, always with a laugh just about to erupt over the funny life of an Early Childhood Education teacher, Jessica has been a bright light in my life.

Yesterday as I was partway through my work day here in The Hague, I received an email from a friend which read in part:

It is my task to deliver some sad news to you regarding Jessica Worthington, who taught at the Seed for many years. Jessica was 36 weeks pregnant with her first baby and in the last few weeks ran into some complications with her pregnancy. She developed problems with her liver, which resulted in the loss of her baby last Thursday, September 11th. Jessica herself never recovered, and also passed on Sunday evening.

And I felt the light go out.

I want to say something meaningful and poetic here about the journey of life and the circle of our existence on this planet. But I am at a complete loss for words and choose now instead to cry a river in remembrance of Jessica; fully aware that as much as I grieve the loss of my friend I also celebrate her influence in my life.

Darling Jess, I thought I missed you when we moved across the ocean. I miss you exponentially more now. Goodbye, friend. I love you.

~jenn

Quiet Reflection