Friday, September 21

Thinking of the Cherry Tree

I am barely holding it together myself.

She has walked into my office, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her nose is crimson and her cheeks flushed with emotion. She flops into the chair beside my desk and waits until I hang up the telephone. I turn to her in query and the emotion breaks loose. Her thin shoulders heaving, the echo of sniffles resounding, I beckon for her to join me in my swivel chair and I pull this lanky 11 1/2 year old onto my lap. We sway from side to side as I gently coax answers from my overwrought pre-teen girl. Her words, choked through belly wracked sobs, lay out the tale from start to finish.

It's not an emergency--just a moment.

A moment with her teacher applying too much pressure and her peers too little understanding.

It is not the first moment like this in her life and it will not be the last.

It is as if suddenly being a middle schooler takes on a fully new meaning for her. Now it's not only about having a hallway locker, a new teacher for each subject, and a steady load of homework; it is about growing up.
And coming to terms.
And learning to cope.
More than anything, it's about learning to roll.

With my arms wrapped around her neck and my lips pressed against her ear, I whisper my encouragement.

I tell her that I believe in her.
I tell her she is strong and capable.
I tell her that I love her.

I wish I could tell her that growing up is going to be a breeze.

But I can't lie.

36 comments:

  1. Oh, hell - eyeball leakage has commenced. I've got one like that; he'll be 12 in November, and there are many times I wish so hard that I could just make it all nice and easy. But I can't.

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  2. You have an expert on loan you know, she was and sometimes still is the "angst" queen. I know she'd be happy to share with Emma. You rock Mom!

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  3. I. HATED. MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!!

    I want to wisk your little girl away and protect from all the mean kids and judgemental adults and tell her she is beautiful and smart and talented and going to be o.k.

    And you're going to be o.k. too.

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  4. Oh God, I remember those feelings and those tears.

    I also remember how awesomely great it was that my mom worked at my school when I had days like that.

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  5. She's awful lucky to have you....that was beautifully said :)

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  6. Oh, it's SUCH a hard age. I still tremble at all the things that are suddenly thrust upon you in middle school--emotions, hormones, responsibilities, and friends with all of these new things too, who often aren't coping well either, causing a washing-machine-spin-cycle effect on everyone. Sigh. She's so lucky to have you. And it WON'T be easy, but she WILL be okay. In fact, she'll be way better than that. Look at the head-start you've given her!

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  7. I cried this morning while writing my blog, then read yours and cried some more. It is hard on us all. Thought hugs and blessing to you darlin'.

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  8. Those moments with your daughter, as painful as they are, will be branded in her brain forever. In years to come she will remember and cherish them. For you it's something to hold on to when the full force of her puberty hits home

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  9. That was an incredible post!! I was not a fan of middle school either. I did, however, LOVE teaching it. Middle school is such a time of change - little kids turning in to teenagers - it is an incredible experience to be a part of. One made a bit easier by the fact you get to send them home to their parents each night - I'm sure when my own is in middle school I will again see it in another way. (He will be in 6th grade next year, ugh)

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  10. Jenn -

    Wow - I love when you manage to write things that perfectly explain how I feel! I so want to protect both my girls from the difficulties of growing up. I can't believe all the drama that has commenced in 5th grade!

    Thanks for sharing so eloquently!

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  11. My heart goes out to both you and FA. And especially to your tween daughters. It's SO tough at that age. Huge hugs.

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  12. If I'm able to perform at least one-half as magnificently as you did, my daughter -- and my two sons -- will survive and thrive. Tears reading this.

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  13. I think the worst age was 14. You're not in high school yet, but you're too big to be a little kid.

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  14. oh, middle school sucks. you are amazing and I'm sure she is feeling so much better because of you.

    (I send my addy - hope it gets through this time! I sent it back in early Sep, but I guess it went off into the spam abyss...) :P

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  15. Oh, I remember that time. For me, there was nothing worse than being 12. It was miserable for me. Hugs to you and her. She'll get through it and you'll help her.

    Beautiful, beautiful post.

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  16. Ooo, yeah, I can relate. I've got an 11yo middle schooler as well.

    Sigh.

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  17. Oh no! This one brought tears to my eyes as well!

    Middle school can be so incredibly painful! But on the other hand, through these experiences she will grow stronger. Because of your love and support she will grow stronger.

    (Just please remind me of these things when my boys go through the same crises!)

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  18. I think you did everything just perfect with her. Wish things could be different for her but we all have to go through it...Now I am glad that I am old.lol

    Take care,
    Connie

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  19. What an awesome way to calm the spirit and lift it up at the same time. Most excellent.

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  20. These students are so lucky to have you and as difficult as adolesence is, it is the people in our lives at that time that can make all the difference in the world.
    You Rock!

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  21. That is a great mom-and-daughter moment. You captured it perfectly. She'll be able to handle anything with encouragement like that.

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  22. A great post. I've got a daughter the same age - it's not easy sometimes but we'll get there.

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  23. What a beautiful, if painful, post. I'm sorry things are so hard for the two of you right now. Middle school is rough water, and I don't know any way of surfing through it without ending up with a couple of bruises.

    Your daughter is lucky because she has you -- a great mom -- and a great family: a safe haven.

    I hope you are all feeling better soon.

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  24. Oh goodness, that's a tough age! Though it sounds like she has an amazing mom, and that always helps. :)

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  25. Big hugs...to both of you. I remember middle school well. It was the worst two years of my life!

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  26. Oh, I hated Middle School. I remember it well, and not fondly. Something about the pre-teen years really brings out the worst in kids.

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  27. (and now, for a Brillig first...)

    Where in the HELL are you???????


    (Do NOT make me swear again!)

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  28. Jenn - I've been MISSING YOU!! Where'd you go?

    When you come back, let me know and I'll add you back to my blog list...

    Take care and I do hope to 'chat' again sometime..

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  29. It is sooooooooooo quiet here! where are you?

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  30. Beautiful as always.. check out my blog I have a surprise for you.

    HUGS

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  31. I have an 11 1/2-year-old, too. It's so hard for her, and harder for me because I remember being there. Hugs and reassurances work best.

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  32. I did not like middle school, either. I hope it gets easier for her.

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