Showing posts with label conversations with a preschooler. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversations with a preschooler. Show all posts

Thursday, January 31

Hey! Hey!

First a conversation:

"Go back Mom. Go back to that picture."


"Which one, buddy? This one here?"

"Yeah, click on that one. I wanna go to that monkey store."

"Okay, let's see here."

Click... wait...load....


"Oh! I want to see that monkey."

"Do you like that monkey, son? "

"Yeah, I really, really like that monkey. We gotta get that monkey from the monkey store!"

"Which one do you like buddy?"

"That one. The red one."

"Do you like that monkey?"

"Yeah, I like that monkey. That monkey is really, really funny. We gotta get that monkey right now."

"Right now?"


"Yeah, we gotta get that monkey from the monkey store right now!"

*********************************

And then an invitation.


the writing game

Please pop round to this site today and plan to stay awhile. Jen of A2Eatwrite has created quite a game, she calls it The Writing Game and it's aim is a creative challenge to writers (or non-writers as the case may be). Several victims participants submitted ideas for stories, which were randomly shuffled among us. The task then was to write a piece of fiction based on that other person's ideas. As you know, I am not one to step away from a challenge issued, so I took on the task. My story is here. Other stories are there too. Fill your cup to the brim and settle in to read some exceptional writing. (No, not mine. The other guys'!)

***************************************************

And now, infatuation.

While you read today, take a commercial break and pop over to Leslie's place to order your own really, really funny monkey from the monkey store. You can find her delightful creations here, and you can order one right now.

But not this one:

This guy is all mine.

Tuesday, January 22

Hello, I Love You, Won't You Tell Me Your Name?

Andrew's (incredible, stupendous, amazing, fantastic) preschool classroom has a self-check-in system in place wherein the children find their name card on the door and by use of sticky back velcro attach it underneath a picture of themselves, thus enabling not only a register of who is in attendance on a given day, but also the added benefit of early letter and name recognition for the child. Cool, huh?

Standing above the child's name on each card is a greeting--hello, to be exact--customized to each according to the language which they speak. For the English speakers 'Hello' graces the tag, except for the tag of the Australian child, whose tag reads 'G'day' (Truth be told, I really wanted Andrew's card to say 'Hey, y'all' but couldn't convince his teachers that the southern vernacular was really his by right)
With new children arriving weekly to his class I sat down with the classroom teachers yesterday to create a list of the new names and the appropriate greetings.
Here then is a small sampling of the ways our class says hello. (Thank goodness for Google search with a task like this.)

Hungary: Szia

German: Guten Tag

Dutch: Dag

Marathi: Namaskar

Spanish: Hola

Mhroroi: Shona

French: Bonjour

So, lay it on me. Add to the knowledge base here. How do you say hello?

Tuesday, January 8

Make It So

"Oh, is it over Mom?"

"Yep, buddy, that's the end of the movie. Did you like it?"

"Yeah, that was a good Bee Movie."

"You bet."

"Yeah, that was a really, really funny Bee Movie. I liked that."

"I am so glad."

"Yeah, we need to get that Bee Movie off the screen and put it on a DVD so I can watch that at my TV, okay?"

Wednesday, November 28

Thursday, November 15

Talk On!

Andrew's vocabulary is growing exponentially and with rapidly increasing speed. Having come to the talking game quite late it seems he is now making up for lost time. He makes daily long strides which nearly boggle the mind. For the most part the stimulation we offer him is our continual conversation, peppered occasionally with actual teaching moments wherein one or more of us tries to consciously open his mind to new vocabulary words. More often than not though, contributions to his speech are accidental and random (Tonight I caught him singing the full lyric to a song from the musical RENT!) as in a sentence from a book, a phrase from a game we are playing together, a movie line he hears, and/or a repeated choice word or two he gains from one of the grown ups--or nearly grown ups--around him. Words which then he is most likely to repeat. My favorite bits in this category are both the phrases 'Check this out', and 'Rock On'. These are the kinds of words I feel all four-year-olds should know. I also have a list of words four-year-olds should NOT know, but truly, I digress.

This morning Andrew and his Daddy were engaged in conversation as Don helped him dress for school. At some point in the exchange (neither adult can really remember how or why it came up in conversation) Don used the celebration phrase 'Boo-yah' and the little man found that to be an absolutely hilarious new word. Tucking it neatly into his memory as a shirttail into trousers, this suddenly became the word of the day for the boy.


"Say it again, Daddy!"


"Boo-yah!"


"Hahahahahahaha!"


"Now, you say it Buddy."


"BOOOO-YAAAAH!"


I had stepped downstairs to pack our lunches and was decently engrossed in the task when I felt Andrew's little hands on my leg.


"Hey Mom, are you ready for this?"


"BOOOOO-YAAAAAH!"


He shouted the word at the top of his lungs and then scampered down the hall laughing.


"Boo-yah"
he said as he got his shoes on (all by himself).

"Boo-yah" he cried as he pulled his coat down from the hook.
"Boo-yah" he nattered as he put his backpack into the bike basket.


Boo-yah, boo-yah, boo-yah...
The ride to school was entirely filled with a single track game. From the backseat this question:

"Mom, are you ready for this?"


I responded: "Sure".


"BOOO-YAAAAAAH!"
he crowed.


The 50th time being equally as hilarious as the first time, this was the soundtrack for our morning commute.

The morning was busy and full but before Andrew's half day dismissal time I managed to catch his teacher in the hall to chat--among other things--about him. I mentioned to her that he had learned a new word today and perhaps she ought to test him out to see if he still remembered it. I gave her the lead and sent her on her way.
When she walked into the classroom, she called out "Andrew? Are you ready for this?" He looked up in shock and amazement, caught her eye, and with a mischievous grin shouted "BOO-YAAH!"

Still tonight as we hung out together to celebrate Don's big birthday, Andrew did not disappoint and for every "are you ready for this" query he returned a hearty "BOOO-YAAAAAH!".


This is how we roll. What started the day with a giggle saw us to it's end with a guffaw. And now I ask you all:



ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?








Boo-yah!

Friday, November 9

And What Will Poor Robin Do Then?

We're under the weather around here. And by saying that, I mean there is a severe weather warning for The Netherlands tonight. The winds are supposed to be fierce (fiercer than normal--which is really saying something) and the rain is already pouring. We haven't seen the sun in days, but that's not news for folks in the low lands. The sun doesn't hang out much in Holland, at least not in the winter. There is only one weather here during the winter months and that is, oh, how can I say it best?

Yucky.

We have a friend who has a not so endearing term for Holland's weather. I can't share it with you here because, well, it contains some not so very nice words. Don't get me wrong now, I can say these words, I can even write these words, I am just a bit uncomfortable writing them down in this post. (My mother in law reads my blog after all!) But the three word adjective-noun-verb phrase (rhymes with bitty-bit-buck) completely cracks me up every time I hear it. And then I cry a little because it's completely, totally true.

The winter weather here sucks.

This morning as Andrew and I saddled the bike to ride into the school--he to class and me to work--we had a discussion about the weather.

"Oh, no, it's windy!" he said.

I responded. "It's not windy this morning baby, it's just fine."

"Yes!" He said and stamped his foot for emphasis. "I see a wind."

I looked to the sky and then said again. "No, babe, there's no wind, we're going to be okay."

"I see a wind" he insisted, pointing at the last remaining leaves on the oak in the front garden. "There is a wind." he said. "Look!"

I looked and I could see his point. There was a light breeze gently shaking the last leaf on the branch.

I tried in vain to add the new vocabulary word breeze to his repertoire, but he was having none of it.

"That's a wind. I told you Mom. I see a wind."

Throughout the day this storm has rolled in at a relentless pace. And, tonight with the wind whipping in earnest outside--howling through the door jambs and forcing tree branches to scrape along the balcony ledges and the windows--I am confident that I will soon have a bed partner in the form of a four-year old boy. I am also certain that he will remind me once again,

"I told you Mom. I told you I saw a wind."

Monday, October 8

One For the Road

"Okay, buddy, I am on my way. I will see you later after work, okay?"

"Wait, wait, wait! I got to tell you something at the door."

"Okay, pal. Sounds good. Are you going to tell me that you love me?"

"Uh... no."

"Are you going to say that you'll miss me?"

"Uh... no. But you got to miss me okay, Mom?"

"Yep buddy. I am going to miss you while I am at work."

"Yeah, but I got to tell you something at the door."


"All right. Come and tell me what you have to say 'cause I've got to get going."

"Do you got your bike Mom?"

"Yeppers. I've got my bike."

"Are you going to work Mom?"

"Yes, I am on my way to work."

"Okay. I got to tell you something at the door Mom."

"Right. I am waiting. What did you want to tell me at the door then?"

"Bye."

Thursday, October 4

Negotiations

Four year-old Andrew has finally acquiesced to be potty-trained.

I can only hand the success to THE NANNY here in our house who has boldly and brilliantly led the path to diaper freedom.

Andrew has the know how.

He has the skills.

And he has an unbelievable willpower.

We discovered recently that if he's in underpants, he goes to the toilet.

If he's in a pull-up, he doesn't.

Truly, he just doesn't want to.That lovely padded pull-up is just so cozy, who in his right-toddler-mind would worry about pulling that thing down to sit on a briskly cold and hard toilet seat?

I ask you.

So we challenge him, requiring that he step out of the nighttime pull-up as soon as he wakes. Thus, he lands squarely back in responsibility land; the land where he is fully capable and fully trained. He prefers the land of denial. But whatever, I am the mama.

Last week, he and I entered a discussion which went something like this:

"Hey Droopers, lets get that pull-up off and get some big boy pants on!"

"uh... no."

"Yep. It's time dude. Drop the drawers and let's get dressed."

"Mom. I'm just gonna wear this pull-up okay?"

"Nope, you are going to wear pants buddy."

Don had gone downstairs to retrieve a pair of big boy underwear from the school backpack (in case of accidents at playgroup) and I scurried Andrew along to find his dad and get his pants on.
He swish-thunked down the stairs on his bottom with his pull-up clad derriere striking each step to make a resounding thud, and he called out "Daddy. Daaaaady. Daaaaaady" as he made his way to the bottom. Reaching the destination (and the dreaded underpants) he explained to Don with much fervor and conviction (clearly, the wheels turning in his head):

"Dad, just put the pants OVER my pull-up. Okay?"

As if to say: I will comply with your must-wear-pants dictate, but let's do it this way which works out oh-so-much-more-comfortably-for-me.

As if kid. As if.

Tuesday, July 17

Thank You for Being a Friend

"Mom, mom, mom, mom. The goose. The goose are talking to me!"

"The geese are talking to you? What are they saying?"


"HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK!"

"Yeah? And what do you suppose that means?"


"uh... I don't know."

"Do you think they are saying thanks for the bread you're feeding them? Are they saying 'Thank y
ou, Andrew'?"

"uh... yeah. They are saying thank me Andrew, thank me for that bread!"


*****************************************************************

Thank You Mark!

Mark awarded me the Schmoozer. I am graciously accepting because, well, look at this cool button.
I am pleased and proud to hang it on my side bar, and I thank Mark over at The Green Fingered Photographer for sharing it with me.

This is what it's all about:
"Schmoozing is the natural ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogosphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship"

And I now get to pass it along. I didn't see any 'rules' posted about it, so I am arbitrarily choosing to give it to six, no, seven *NOW NINE super schmoozy bloggers. In no particular order I share the love with:

Allison, over at Soccer Mom in Denial. In my mind, no one is more deserving. She was my first commenter and has been a loyal friend since the first moment she tripped upon my site.

Ken, who writes The Ambassador Returns. Baby, no one can schmooze like this man can!

Jen, author at A2EATWRITE. Friendly, kind, warm and wonderful. That's Jen.

Jami, from Not That Different. In a single word: Hilarious. In two words: Absolutely fabulous.

Fourier Analyst (I don't know if she's telling her real name so I shall keep it secret) Honest, funny, fresh, and gorgeous. That she is my offline friend too is my treasure.

Michelle, at Scribbit. Brilliant blogger. Great friend. AND? And I got to chat (as in SPEAK) with her via Skype* yesterday. Now, that was fun.

Ellen, who blogs from Belgium at Goofball's World. Always with a fun perspective and a friendly smile. She is a great presence in my blog neighborhood!

Happy Schmoozing friends!
*UPDATE~~UPDATE~~UPDATE

While I was sitting in the acupuncture hot seat this afternoon, it occurred to me that I had forgotten to add in two bloggers who really deserve this kind of nod. This, I suppose, is what comes from trying to rush through a post. After all, I can't hold all that much in my brain any all of the time.
The rest of the awardees are:

Brillig, at 'Twas Brillig. Schmoozer just may be her middle name.

Rebecca, writing from down under at Rebecca James. Sweetest human on the planet. And sharp wit to boot.

That's it for real now. Even though there are others, many others, lots of others, DOZENS of others who should be getting this award. But I have to stop somewhere. I will leave it to those on the list above to send this award winging it's way 'round the neighborhood.

*want my Skype id? just email me.

Thursday, June 14

Wat Zeg Je, Kikkertje?

My son is the Singing Frog.

You remember right? The Looney Tunes cartoon where the guy discovers a frog at a construction site. A frog who sings? Yeah, yeah, you remember, a frog who sings and dances? And the bloke who finds this frog has visions of making bank off this singing dancing wonder and immediately takes him into the talent agent to broker the deal. At which point, the frog neither sings nor dances, but merely sits on the desk looking very much like a regular, boring 'ol frog, and 'ribbits'?

If this isn't ringing any bells for you, I link you here for the full entertainment.

And I say again, my son is the Singing Frog.

Recently I posted about Andrew and his propensity to speak backwards nonsense when he was first acquiring speech. In truth, his speaking skills have grown exponentially in the last several months and the boy has turned into a chatterbox. We couldn't be more pleased, as we waited so long for the advent of this skill. Indeed and indubitably, he has made great strides in his language development. He sings, he asks questions, he answers our queries, he speaks. He speaks! He speaks! He speaks!

But only at home.


Something happens at the threshold of our front door, or possibly it's when we step to the other side of the garden gate. Somehow and suddenly, if it's not us, as in a brother, a sister, a mommy or a daddy involved in the conversation, Andrew's skills disappear. When he does attempt a hello to the neighbor, or a teacher at playgroup, only after a prompt from me, he sounds more like a baby Mr. Bean. He pulls his chin into his neck and grunts a barely audible, certainly not decipherable, reply.


I am telling you, the Singing Frog.


No where is the phenomenon more pronounced than when we visit the speech therapist. The place where he should be talking because, well, that is what he is there for. To speak. To the therapist. Who by rights and definition should be hearing him so she can help him. But he doesn't speak to her.

Likely that is because he is well aware that he is there for therapy. He knows that he is supposed to talk there. He understands that he should talk there. He certainly discerns that he can talk there. He just doesn't.

I don't yet know if that is part of the underlying difference in the way his brain works or if I can simply chalk this up to well defined 4-year-old beat-the-system-manipulation. But the reality is that he jabbers all the way to the hospital's therapy center, a 15-minute bike ride from our house. He chats to me about all the things he sees along the way. "Did you see that duck, Mom? I heard a motorcycle. Look at that car!" And occasionally the conversation is peppered with a line from Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, or more often, a Wiggles tune.

He talks constantly as we park the bike and enter the building. "Let's see the fish after Ineke, okay Mom? I can do the stairs myself! Hey, look at that baby!".

He prattles incessantly as we climb the stairs and walk down the corridor. "I see that balloon! I go see Ineke, right Mom? Open the doors, okay?"

He natters on and on as we wait our turn to enter the therapist's office. "I can go up the slide! You take my jacket off Mom? This is your purse, right?"

However, as soon as the door opens and he steps into therapy, he says nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Sometimes he grunts. Occasionally he squeaks. Every once in a while he mutters something under his breath. He sporadically repeats in whispers.
Every week I wonder, who is this kid and why won't he speak?

It likely goes without saying that as soon as the session is complete and the time with the therapist is over, he steps into the hall and into my arms and the chinwagging begins anew.

I have explained this to our therapist before and she assures me that it's normal for a child to do something like this. To talk more at home than s/he does at the therapist's place. But never before had she heard the level his skill has reached; the speech that he shares with us at home. Until our session this week, I believe she believed he was only at the two--or possibly three word--phrases level of language development. But as the two of them met me in the Ouderskamer (parent lounge) after the 30-minute therapy, Andrew immediately began chatting away to me about the things he saw in the room. Our beautiful therapist, Ineke, stood and stared at him, gazing down from her 6-foot tall, long legged, leather boot clad frame. Her jaw went slack and her sheer blue eyes grew to saucer size as she listened, for the first time hearing the length of the sentences flowing from his mouth. And the clarity of the words off his lips.

She heard the frog SING.

We sat down to discuss the conundrum we face with him; this not speaking outside of our house thing. Within that discussion she suggested that I video him at home and get some of his language documented on DVD. This might allow the line of doctors, assessors and therapists a more comprehensive picture of his capabilities. A brilliant idea, except for the fact that I don't own a video camera.

Which actually brings me to the point of this post. As my friend Allison, who writes Soccer Mom in Denial, said in her comment in response to this post, I need a video camera. And while I am not asking for donations toward "The Buy Jenn a Video Camera Fund" she teasingly suggested, I am asking for recommendations. Educate me please. Be my consumer guides. Which camera brand/style/model do you use to document the happenings in your lives? Would you buy that camera again? What do you suggest for me?

I look forward to your responses, your guidance, your counsel.

I am determined to catch this frog on tape.

Thursday, May 24

Comparable and Corresponding

Before he could speak, Andrew signed. First it was just the few trendy words that everyone who was anyone was teaching their babies. Signs for 'more', 'drink', 'cookie' ,'please' and 'thank you' were the first to enter his vocabulary. But as it became apparent that his spoken language was not developing according to the norm I stepped up the education in signing. I bought books and videos, attended classes and spent time at the sign language sites online. His abilities grew exponentially and soon he was saying/signing dozens of words and phrases. For my part, my signing vocabulary, a step ahead of his included hundreds of signs. Mostly nouns, to help him assign names to the things he saw, but also the adjectives and the verbs so he could also tell us the hilarities of his life, like when he farted! Around here the only thing better than doing it is being able to say you did it. My eldest at this age, (also a boy) used to say "pardon my bum" after he passed a little wind, which just cracked him up royally. Andrew's pattern would be the sign for fart and then the sign for surprise followed by a loud giggle. Oh, boys!

Once language arrived, the signs slowly were replaced with words. One by one the signs dropped away as speech emerged. The best part of his developing skills was his hilarious insistence on speaking in the opposite. For a time we called him Antonym Andrew because no matter what was said, his retort would be the reverse. I must mention, he acquired this ability on his own, as no one ever trained him in the lingo of contrariness, well, not on purpose anyway.

We noticed the propensity beginning with this conversation with his sister one Saturday morning. Big brother Ian was playing a game on the PlayStation; Emma was lounging on the couch. Andrew was sitting alongside Ian in front of the television with the second PlayStation controller in his lap. It was becoming painfully obvious to him that his controls were not working properly. Indeed, they were not even plugged in.

Andrew turned to Emma and said, "Take it on".

She patiently explained "Andrew you don't say 'take it on', that doesn't make sense. You can say 'take it off' or you could say 'put it on'."

To which he replied "Put it off".

And thus we launched into the phase of language development wherein he said it his own way, thank you very much.

If we said "pick it up" he said "pick it down";

If we said "take this out" he said "take this in";

If we said "put it in" he said "put it out".

The ultimate triumph in his contradictory speech came the day he shadowed his sister as she walked up the stairs to the second floor of our home. She was quietly singing a Bob Marley tune (could I be any prouder?) as she mounted the steps.


"get up, stand up..." she sang as she climbed.

And on her tail, without missing a beat in the rhythm, Andrew intoned behind her,

"get down, sit down..."

I fell over laughing. Or did I stand there crying?
Who really could say?




Thursday, April 5

Shaken, Not Stirred

The Dutch way to greet a friend is a three kiss ritual. Elsewhere on the continent it is a two kiss greeting. The same goes for the UK; a single visit to each cheek as you greet one another is the standard. And the American way? A great big welcoming hug is the tradition.

So, just what is the protocol when an AMERICAN greets a BRIT and a SPANIARD in her DUTCH house?

A kissing hugging frenzy for everyone. Kiss-kiss-kiss-HUG-kiss-kiss. Or something like that.

We hosted some friends here for dinner a couple of weeks ago; friends we have known virtually since our arrival in the Netherlands. She comes originally from Spain and he from England. They are terrific company and we have enjoyed many celebrations and conversations with them during our time here in Holland. Last summer as we moved from Leiden to The Hague, our friend moved from Leiden back to England, so it has been several months since the kids have seen or talked with him. Speaking with him is always a treat, especially if like me you are partial to that exquisite London accent. To converse with him is to feel that you are in the most refined of company. The inflection in his voice infuses you with desire to sit up tall and straight in your chair and will your IQ to ratchet upward a few points. Perhaps simply by association with such charm and etiquette your own grace and poise will be affected for the better. Lest you get the wrong impression of his character I must also say that he is a warm and caring person and can carry his end of a conversation, whether it be about classic literature or best toppings for pizza, with equal brilliance and wit.


So the seven of us sat around our dining room table swapping stories and telling tales; caught together in a lovely web of conversation, commiseration and dissertation. As the chatter turned ever more to adult subjects and interests Andrew quietly began to name the people at the table.

"There's Momma, there's Emma, that's Ian.... and that is JAMES BOND"


My head snapped to the side as my ears tuned in to what he had said.

"What was that baby?" I asked him

"That's JAMES BOND" he said looking straight across the table at our gentleman friend.

At this point in our small aside the big kids tuned in .

"Did he just say what I think he said?" Ian queried.

"Say that again buddy?" Emma added.

"He thinks that we have James Bond here tonight" I whispered.

Actually I more sort of spluttered that last as I could hardly contain the laugh welling up inside me. And I was attempting to be so refined with our evening company; but there I was snorting behind my open hand as I tried to explain to my three year old that it wasn't really James Bond in our dining room that evening, but just our good friend.

To which Andrew replied with volume and vigor:

"Uh-yeah-NO. That is not JAMES BOND. Nope. Not JAMES BOND! That's funny!"

He punctuated his comment with a gusty "HA! HA! HA!"

And if you think that a moment like that isn't enough to halt any deep adult discussion replete with political overtones and cause an entire table full of folks to erupt into deep-gut-laughter then you just haven't spent enough time around a preschooler lately.

I highly recommend it.

If only for sheer entertainment at dinner parties.



Sunday, April 1

Music to a Frazzled Mama's Ears

"Hey Mom, could you just get me to my bed, okay?"

"Yes, baby. I can do that. THAT I can do."






Monday, March 26

Human Fly Trap

"Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!"

"Yes, son?"

"Mom. Come see Mom. Come see the bee."

"Okay, let's see. Oh, baby, that's a fly not a bee. That's a fly."

"Uh-yeah. That's a fly."

"Yup. See how it's all black? A fly is black. If it was a bee it would be stripey. And fuzzy."

"Uh-yeah. I gonna catch that fly."

"You're going to catch that fly?"

"I gonna catch that fly in my hands like this."

"Wow. What are you going to do with that fly when you catch it?"

"Uh-yeah. I gonna catch that fly and I gonna squish it."


Oh, boy.



Wednesday, March 21

Finding The Middle Ground

A post from my email archives. Original date for this story: 26 September 2006

As anyone raising a picky eater knows, feeding said eater can be a tricky negotiation. It is a struggle to find and present desirable (read: acceptable) food choices while simultaneously striving for proper nutritional content. It is a veritable balancing act. In this as in many things, Andrew tips the scale full tilt. To rate his picky eating on a scale of 1-10 is to register him as a 15.
His food repertoire consists of:
yogurt
peanut butter
pancakes
an occasional banana
m&m’s
cookies.
I’m not kidding. That’s the list in its entirety. Recently that list has shrunk to peanut butter. To be fair he does enjoy a good scoop of chocolate paste alongside his peanut butter. Chocolate paste is a common spread here; it is a thick spreadable mix of hazelnut and chocolate. You will likely know the product Nutella. It has the consistency of frosting from the can, and undoubtedly beats the sugar content by half. At some point we opted for calorie count over nutritional content, or maybe we just gave up and gave in, I don’t remember.
At any rate, he eats chocolate paste with his peanut butter. Andrew eats peanut butter for breakfast. He requests peanut butter for lunch. On the rare occasion that I can get him to eat dinner, he will take a bite of, you guessed it, peanut butter and be done with it. This morning our breakfast negotiation went something like this:

“How about a pancake?”

“unnng!” (This being interpreted as “no thank you beautiful mother, that doesn’t suit me this morning, but thanks ever so much for your kind offer”)

“Would you like a yogurt?”

No response.

“How about some cereal? Mommy is having cereal. We could both have cereal!”

“unnngggh!”

“Well? What would you like to eat for breakfast?”

“peanut-butter-chocolate”

I am not surprised of course, but I make one final attempt at a variation on the diet.

“Okay.” I say. “How about a sandwich? I will make you a peanut butter and chocolate sandwich. I will even use white bread. How does that sound?"

And clear as any elocution from the great orators of mankind he says:

“No. peanut-butter-chocolate. IN MY MOUTH.”






Tuesday, March 13

Getting It Right

Not so long ago, I was standing in the kitchen on a Saturday evening, preparing food and things for a party we were hosting, when three year-old Andrew strolled in. He had the packaging for his CARS car in his right hand. With his left hand, he patted my bottom and said “this is butt crack”.
I snorted and then sought clarification.


“What was that?”

“This is butt crack”.

Hmmm… Didn’t know he knew such a phrase or the location of this particular body part. I was totally intrigued, but also totally up to my elbows in chicken marinade so I let it pass with a decided 'Huh!' and in my mind chalked it up as proof that having older siblings can really be a detriment to the innocence of toddlerhood.


The next day I was lounging on the couch, recovering from the party we hosted the night before, when Andrew sauntered into the living room. Again, he was holding the packaging for his CARS car. Again he said:


“this is butt crack”

And again, I said:

“what was that?”

This time he held out the cardboard packaging for me to see. On the back are the pictures and names of all the cars from CARS which can be purchased. (COLLECT THEM ALL!)

“This is butt crack” he said, pointing to one of the pictures.

I took the card from him and squinted hard at the tiny writing under a picture of a red car.

“Ah!’ I said “this is DIRT TRACK McQueen”

“Uh, yeah. This is dirt track”

“Right buddy. This one is called dirt track NOT butt crack.”

Uh, yeah. This one is not butt crack. This is dirt track Lightning McQueen”

“Exactly. I’m glad we cleared that one up.”

“Yeah. This is dirt track NOT butt crack. This is dirt track, Mama. Yeah, this is not butt crack.”

“Okay then, are we done saying butt crack now?”

“Okay, this is not butt crack okay, Mama? This is dirt track Lightning McQueen”

“Okay”

“Yeah, this is dirt track Lightning McQueen. NOT butt crack! That’s funny!”

“Yes, baby. That’s funny.”