15 Minutes

It's Friday.
At this blog that means it's time for a Friday Fifteen of a sort. A list of 15 somethings, which will enlighten, teach or entertain; take your pick.

I had intentions for this list to be done early in the week so that I would only have to wake and publish this morning. But life, nature and the betrayal of my own body got in the way of my well organized plans. Instead of spending time at the computer writing and readying posts for the coming days, I have been relegated to my bed. In the first place put there by a migraine attack that I can only define as a BAD ONE, and in the second place stuck there in trying to sleep off the side effects of a migraine medication, also to be defined as a BAD ONE. I shan't bore you with the details but trust me when I tell you, I won't be trying this drug again anytime soon. NOT A GOOD TIME.

I woke this morning thinking about this Friday Fifteen and my first thought was "My, how I would like to have 15 minutes without a headache" That was shortly followed up by "My, how I would love to have 15 minutes ALONE" as I was shadowed from toilet to shower by a certain pre-schooler, whom I should add had also been in my bed all night. (It rained last night you know.)

Now I am curious as to whether I can keep up this current rate of whining for 15 minutes. Would you like to see me try?

No? All right then. Putting a sock in it now.

And where do we go from here then? Well, to the Friday Fifteen of course. I figure since I am currently obsessed with getting 15 minutes of something done, I will share this list with you.

FIFTEEN THINGS I CAN DO IN LESS THAN A MINUTE

1. Pee, flush, wash and dry my hands.

2. Brush my teeth. (I know it's not long enough, but in a pinch it can be done!)

3. Fall asleep.

4. Change a diaper.

5. Apply my make-up. (Sometimes, I don't wear much)

6. Tie up the trash bag and take it to the back.

7. Lose focus.


...what were we talking about?


8. Suck down a 12 oz. Diet Coke.

9. Swallow my daily meds/vitamins.

10. Shower. (If I can skip a hair wash).

11. Determine if a book is a worthy read.

12. Trim my toenails.

13. Decide that it's a "pancakes for dinner" night. Again.

14. Doodle an entire rose vine onto the edge of a paper.

15. Add an HTML text link for the Friday Fifteen.

All in less than a minute, guaranteed.

O Slalom Meme O

I am dodging again; bobbing and weaving down the court. This can't be construed as a full fake because at some point I intend to do it.

Someday. Just not today.

This evasion I am speaking of is the ducking of tags for Memes which I have not yet bothered to reply to, nor justify with a response.

My thinking is that I will play one of the all about me games that get passed from blog to blog as soon as I run out of things to say . But I haven't done that yet and I actually don't know when I will. So I keep pushing them back and trying to crowd them out of my mind, replacing the nagging need to post something about me with a post about poop. Or something else.

I was really thinking that this was a simple cut and run.

But it struck me that I have a way around the bloggers guilt I am feeling. And that is this. I can link my taggers anyway. And I can encourage you readers to go read them, get to know them, give them some traffic. And thus assuage my shame.

It's a good move don't you think? Maybe I should have coached basketball.

Today, I will talk about the Three Taggers that I am delinquent on linking. And soon there will be a post with more linky love, as I discovered when I opened my email this morning that I had been tagged again. And again. And again.

But y'all have to wait your turn. Because today, I link you to:

Gunfighter, who writes The View From Here. He tagged me to play a spotlight game and I was honored, really honored, that my name showed up in a post of his. You see, he is witty, and wise; intelligent, and controversial. I love that about him. Oh, and he cooks too! His place is a daily (often more than once) stop for me. You should get to know him. And if you're so inclined, send him something to shoot. He'd like that.

Next, I want to introduce you to Csara. She writes at Baby Talkers. She is also the leader of the pack at the Friday Fifteen. Csara is a busy writer, wife and mom, and I would love it if you would stop over at her place and join in a discussion. She would love that too.

The Not Quite Crunchy Parent is the third link for today. In truth, I found this tag by accident when I was reading through the archives at her place. But the game, or meme rather, I was tagged for was a cute one so I thought I would play.

Someday. Not this day.

I love this blog, because so much of what gets said there is stuff I can really get my mind around, and my heart behind. It's a fun read.

And finally, I want to do something a little unconventional. Since this friend is a bit on the unconventional side, I figure this works. I want you to meet my friend Becca. Becca is someone I know in my offline life. She doesn't keep a blog, though she really should, and she has only recently discovered mine--being that I am not very good at "tooting my own horn"--but she dove into the fun of it headfirst. As proof of her humor, her candor, and her zest for life I direct you to the comment section of this post, and this one. She's just a lot of fun, and is a good friend to me. A very good friend. I intend to have her guest blog here sometime soon but any encouragement you want to give for her to open a page of her own and share her hilarious stories and experiences, I will receive in my inbox. You can post a comment here or send an email and I will pass those onto Becca.

That my friends, as they say, is that. Tag me and I'll link you. And someday, I will play the game you passed along.

I promise.

Are you Havin' a Laugh?

I found this game over at Julia's place. She confesses that she borrowed the idea from Toni. The way Toni tells it, she got the notion from Kelly. I don't know the lineage of the entertainment past that point. You want more than that? You'll have to do the research yourself.

But this particular brand of fun goes like this. Into the Google search bar you type your name and the word 'needs'. And then you sit back for your education and enlightenment. Multiple pages of hits appeared for me (can't miss with a name like Jenn) but I will list only the top five which also share the spelling of my name. That double 'n' thing is important, you know.


And now without further ado, I give you,

WHAT JENN NEEDS

1. Jenn needs coffee.

This being the first hit for me was hilarious, given my recent coffee confessions and all.

2. Jenn needs help filling out the capital expense report.

Uh... yeah. And while your at it, could you explain to Jenn what a capital expense report is in the first place? Keep in mind that I'm a dancer, not a business whoop-de-doo. I don't have a whole lot of experience in this kind of thing. The last I checked, no instructor counted down the beginning of a combination with a gusty '5-6-7-capital expense report'. At least not in any of the classes I attended.

Admittedly, it's been awhile. Things might have changed.

3. Jenn needs a puppy. Badly.

This is a fully loaded truth. The reality is that Jenn's kids want a puppy. Badly. Unfortunately, before that happens they will have to swap this mom for one of the not-allergic-to-animals kind. There are days they just might do that if the trade off is a dog.

Actually, there is new hope in some of the new non-allergenic breeds they are doodling around with. Like that Labradoodle? Just might work for us.

4. Jenn needs a vacation.

Totally true. And before you launch in and remind me that I just had a weekend in Milan without kids, may I remind you that the get-away included a sad, sad announcement. So how this one really should read is: Jenn needs a vacation WITHOUT BAD NEWS.

5. Jenn needs a healthy dose of sweet caffeine.

Seriously, how do these folks at Google know me so well? A dose of sweet caffeine sounds like just the thing, and so I will now wrap this up and get to the unwrapping of a bar of chocolate.
Ah, sweet, healthy dose.

And now, I ask you. What is it you need?
And then I answer for you with another question. Why don't you go Google it and find out?

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE!

My darling daughter has created a blog page of her own. Please visit her here and enjoy the read!

Games People Play

So there is this gaggle of games in the blogging world and just like the best of childhood play it involves tagging friends. And she who is "it" gets to holler out "no-tag-backs"! I got touched twice this week by two different taggers for two different games.

I am going to play them both in one post.

And I am boldly going to let the buck stop here. And it's not that I am not a big fan of these games, or memes rather, because I really am. I love to trip upon them on others' blogs and read all the cool and juicy tidbits of information the writer chooses to share. The reason I am not thrusting the game upon others is simple. I am only just making friends in this big beautiful blogging world and I don't want to annoy or pester any of these fresh relationships with a meme which someone may or may not want, but would be too nice to complain about. Besides, both of these games call for an unreasonable amount of tags to happen, as in 10 and 8 respectively. And that adds up to: A LOT. To be perfectly honest, I just don't want to have to think that hard about which somebodies to pass it on to.

Lazy? Perhaps. But you didn't hear that from me.

Now, having put all that in print I feel compelled to add this. If you are interested or keen to play one or both of these games then by all means consider yourself tagged. And please tell me when you have posted so I can come by and read the cool, amazing and interesting things about you. Reading that kind of stuff seriously floats my boat. If you would rather post interesting things about yourself in the comments section of this blog, then feel free to do that. Only if it's 10 things, please do it in ten comments instead of one, so it will make my comment numbers soar. That kind of stuff really, really gets the boat rockin' for me.

So, sound the whistle. Start the clock. The tournament now commences.

Thanks for the tag to this game, Brillig. And thanks for the nod on your sidebar too.

And Anno? I twisted your tag just a little and instead of 8 random facts about me, I turned it into, well, you can read onward to find out what I did. I just wanted to shake it up a little bit so this post wouldn't be too awfully boring and long winded.

Oh, right, like I could ever be long winded!

First then: 10 ULTIMATELY INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT ME

1. When I was seventeen years old I did a McDonald's commercial. Really. I was 'discovered' straight out of drama class at Skyline High School in Salt Lake City. I think the talent agents were looking for fresh Utah faces for this campaign and they liked mine. Or rather, what they really liked was my voice. My face they said, after a series of auditions and screen tests, was "too young looking". So they didn't cast me for the screen part, but it was my voice you heard-dubbed in-all over the western United States for the "Your order in less than a minute" ad campaign of 1983. I also did the radio spots. And the follow up tags when they re-ran the campaign later on in another part of the U.S.
That whole face-too-young-looking thing was a total annoyance at seventeen. Having the same problem at forty-one? Not nearly so bothersome.

2. My first major-venue performance was at The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington D.C. when I was eight years old.

3. I have danced in International venues since then including Sweden and Canada. As well as throughout the United States, with loads of concerts within Utah, which strictly speaking is a foreign place in its own right.

4. I took my 25+ year dancing/performing career and became a P.E. Teacher at Awakening Seed School in Phoenix. I taught there for six years. It was an awesome gig.

5. I can reach my nose with my tongue. Yeah, I have skills. My daughter can also do this which is my only claim that I had anything to do with her looks-just-like-her-daddy genetics.

6. I gave birth three times without so much as a Tylenol. Maybe that's not so impressive until you factor in that labor with my youngest was a 20-hour affair.

No, no applause please. Just throw money.

7. I love to eat green salad and a baked potato. Together. Not just cohabiting on the same plate, but together. Meaning, I prepare the potato by splitting its jacket in the center and tossing in the butter, sour cream, salt, pepper, and other what-not. Then I build a salad on top and crown the whole thing with ranch dressing. The dual effect of hot/cold, soft/crunchy is in a word: Fabulous.

8. I am a voracious reader. I love a book. Almost any book. I have been known to finish total drivel, just because I don't want to be without one. I tend to disappear completely into its world once I have cracked the cover. In Elementary School I often was 'caught' reading my novels behind the history or social studies texts. Since motherhood descended I have to be a bit more discriminate in my timing before I pick up a book and withdraw into the prose. After all, the children need to eat sometimes...

9. I have to be the lamest, slowest, worst SMSer on the planet. Seriously. Every time I try to text it takes me FOREVER to find the letters. It is a ridiculously arduous process for me and my friends on the other end have already finished croissants and cappuccino before I can respond to the invitation "Koffie?" with a simple "Ok".

Here's the perfect example: Today I was attempting to send a quick message to my friend to let her know that Andrew and I were a little late getting to the bus stop and therefore I would be a few minutes behind our scheduled meeting time. (She and I had a spa date while our boys were at peuterspeelzaal). I diligently pushed the buttons on my mobile phone and got myself all wound up and hyperventilating over the fact that I was able to punch in "Bus late" in under five minutes. So then instead of adding "Be there soon" as was my original intention, I typed the same sentence (two words is a sentence, right?) again. So now my message read "Bus late bus late" . Sheesh. I deleted my mighty effort and got the words "but coming" typed in sometime before our thirty-minute bus ride was complete. I sent the message on it's way and I kid you not within seconds, my friend had texted back some novel length reply. I didn't dare send anything in return. I figured by the time I found the letters spelling "C U soon" I would have already seen her, had my toenails painted and arrived back home.

10. I sing in the shower. I have a fantastic repertoire of show tunes and 1940's torch songs. I can also belt out The Star Spangled Banner like nobody's business.

Oh, yeah, I am a diva. A wet, soggy, shower-singin' diva.

And now: 8 RANDOM THINGS I HAVE ACTUALLY SAID TODAY

1. "Are you serious? You threw your yogurt behind the heater? Why? Why? Why?"

2. "I'm not listening to you.... you're crazy" (said in my best Nacho Libre accent.)

3. "Hey dude. The stinky shoes in the front hallway? Can they go away soon, please?"

4. "HOLY CHOCOLATE CAKE BATMAN! This is soooooo good."

5. "Plug the earphones into the television please. No one out here needs to be subjected to The Nanny's voice"

6. "Nee! Nee! Nee! Dit is niet voor jouw!"

7. "Wow, so these wet socks on the radiator? Are these going to be a permanent part of the house decoration or what?"

8. "Uh.... dude? The shoes? Now, please."


And that as they say, my friends, is that. You really read all the way to the end? Now, that's impressive.


UPDATE at 5:03 Kiki played. Who's next?