Getting It Right

Not so long ago, I was standing in the kitchen on a Saturday evening, preparing food and things for a party we were hosting, when three year-old Andrew strolled in. He had the packaging for his CARS car in his right hand. With his left hand, he patted my bottom and said “this is butt crack”.
I snorted and then sought clarification.

“What was that?”

“This is butt crack”.

Hmmm… Didn’t know he knew such a phrase or the location of this particular body part. I was totally intrigued, but also totally up to my elbows in chicken marinade so I let it pass with a decided 'Huh!' and in my mind chalked it up as proof that having older siblings can really be a detriment to the innocence of toddlerhood.

The next day I was lounging on the couch, recovering from the party we hosted the night before, when Andrew sauntered into the living room. Again, he was holding the packaging for his CARS car. Again he said:

“this is butt crack”

And again, I said:

“what was that?”

This time he held out the cardboard packaging for me to see. On the back are the pictures and names of all the cars from CARS which can be purchased. (COLLECT THEM ALL!)

“This is butt crack” he said, pointing to one of the pictures.

I took the card from him and squinted hard at the tiny writing under a picture of a red car.

“Ah!’ I said “this is DIRT TRACK McQueen”

“Uh, yeah. This is dirt track”

“Right buddy. This one is called dirt track NOT butt crack.”

Uh, yeah. This one is not butt crack. This is dirt track Lightning McQueen”

“Exactly. I’m glad we cleared that one up.”

“Yeah. This is dirt track NOT butt crack. This is dirt track, Mama. Yeah, this is not butt crack.”

“Okay then, are we done saying butt crack now?”

“Okay, this is not butt crack okay, Mama? This is dirt track Lightning McQueen”

“Okay”

“Yeah, this is dirt track Lightning McQueen. NOT butt crack! That’s funny!”

“Yes, baby. That’s funny.”