Embracing it at Every Step

If you ever find yourself traveling in The Hague, The Netherlands, say, by tram or bus or train, follow these tips from a seasoned rider.

1. After you've stamped your ticket at the machine, state loudly "I can hold it myself" and then clutch it tightly in your fist, or better yet fold it multiple times and push it deep into the pocket of your jeans for safe keeping.

2. When you see the tram approaching the platform, thrust your arm out straight and strong from the shoulder, fingers extended and cry out "STOP TRAM STOOOOOOOOP" at the top of your lungs.

3. When the tram comes to a halt near you declare "He heard me Mom! He heard me!"

4. Push the button for the doors (by yourself) and board the tram.

5. Select your seat inside based on the simple criterion of which bench will get you the best view of the driver's station so you can see all the pedals, buttons, lights and dials she uses to drive the tram.

6. Chatter about everything you see along the way.

7. Wonder aloud what the name of the driver is.

8. As you approach your stop, scoot your bottom forward on the seat until your feet dangle only centimeters from the tram floor and then continue to slither off the seat like a slinky winds itself down a set of stairs.

9. Gallop with thunderous enthusiasm toward the exit doors.

10. Shout "Yes!" when the tram pulls to a stop and the doors open wide. You can thrust your fist into the air for dramatic effect if you like.

11. Exit the tram.

For your return trip, you can follow the steps above or mix and match the bits that work best for you. But for good measure, before you step back onto the public transport, be sure to step into the automatic photo booth you've spotted inside the train station.

That's what we in the business call making a memory.