Sublime and Ridiculous
(And really, none of it good.)
Still bucking for the mug.
Haiku Buckaroo contest hosted by My Mommy's Place.
First, the Croatia inspired:
Long shadows follow;
Tired feet carry us home.
Sun-day is over
**************
Wish there was a word
for that slap-thuk-whoo-whoosh sound~
Boats on water
**************
Sun sinking lower
Sky lights orange, yellow, pink
over clear blue ocean
**************
And then the daily vignettes:
Crack, open, pour, whip~
Dip, flip, fry, check, butter, turn!
Open gob. Insert.
**************
Serious? Again?
I burned my hand on the stove!!
Save me from myself!
I burned my hand on the stove!!
Save me from myself!
**************
LAUNDRY! Stand ye warned!
I will conquer, foul monster!
Victory is mine!
***************
Not nearly as fresh
Yet still my lips are smackin'
Leftover spareribs!
****************
While you are sleeping
I watch your breath rise and fall
And I am content.
*****************
And now, the epic haiku:
A bead in your nose?
Please, tell me why you did that?
Unbelievable!
En route to doctor
for removal assistance
I wish you would sneeze!
Open that nostril~
Nothing in there to be seen?
Did you swallow it?
I guess we'll go home
and watch for further symptoms
of nasal blockage.
Please just tell me why
-When I'm parenting alone-
accidents happen?
Finally to sleep
three hours beyond your bedtime
Mama needs a drink!
Easy to handle
ReplyDeletean emergency alone:
just grab him and go!
Hopefully the bead
has reappeared somewhere else.
You've been checking - right?
You know I did it!
ReplyDeleteJust threw him on the bicycle
and rode to the docs.
But the errant bead
Has not made an appearance
Though I did just flush!
Now a bead up the nose is just yucky!
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Love these (even though I'm morally opposed to Haikus... or something). Besides the Andrew ones (hilarious!) I'm particularly fond of the boat one. I leave it to you to come up with that word. I know you can do it...
ReplyDelete:-)
Wow... and I was thinking of participating in the haiku challenge this time around... but seriously, who can compete with you? ;)
ReplyDeletesmid-
ReplyDeleteNO kidding! Gross and terrible and whaaa? Where did it go anyway? In spite of the doctors reassurance that it can happen and it's not a big deal to inhale it through the nasal passage and then swallow it, the whole thing really set me on edge. And, yes, ooged me out a little bit.
brill-
My current favorite in made up words is "SKIDOOSH" but now being an expert on all things KUNG FU PANDA I don't think I get to steal that word and use it as my boat sound. Must. Keep. Thinking.
cg-
*snort* Babe, this is just silliness in rhythm. I recognize fully that I am no real haikuist.I can't wait to read what you write!!
Channeling my mother, she of the made-up words, I was going to say "Ska-THOOK" but that's an awful lot like your "SKIDOOSH" (which I just read). So, either we both have a good ear and vivid verbal imaginations and that's a close approximation or we're both way off base. Or maybe I'm just not channeling my mother well.
ReplyDeleteEVERYBODY! Go enter the HB contest! I can testify that the prize mug works really, really well at holding coffee!
Ska-THOOK is definitely the way my flip-flops sound when I walk!
ReplyDeleteStrange - mine go "Sha-Glip". Both of them sound like that, BTW, not - as some have suggested - one going "Sha-Glip" and the other "Sha-Glop". Are you wearing Dutch flip-flops? Maybe it's just a translation thing.
ReplyDeleteItalian made actually. And it is definitively a ska-thook. Of course, they also make a lot of wild hand gestures and talk quite loudly.
ReplyDeleteAhh...Italian. It is a translation thing, then. But you know they love your feet. (Mine are Ralph Lauren, BTW.)
ReplyDeletewith sparkly bits?
ReplyDeleteNo sparkly bits. Just very elegant minimal black patent. OK, maybe just a bit shiny cuz they're patent leather but that's it. I can send you a picture, actually ... if you're into that kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteme+shoes=true love always
ReplyDeleteyou are so the haiku queen!
ReplyDeleteYou are a haiku goddess. I love them. Especially the bead up the nose ones. Ha!
ReplyDeleteWhen Dave was a kid, he got a dime stuck up his nose. His brothers love to tell that story. Somehow, I think they have more to do with it than they let on.
And! I got your postcard today. Perfect timing. Today was shit. That made it better. Thank you!
P.S. I hope it's okay to say 'shit' on your blog. If not, I'm really sorry, because I did it twice.
ReplyDeleteleslie-
ReplyDeleteWell, shit, now what am I supposed to say?
OMG, Jenn, I was laughing so hard! My first day of teaching I had that same experience with one of the kindergarteners, except it was a bean. And no, it wasn't visible.
ReplyDeleteAnd then it turned out this kid pulled that every. single. day.
And there was never a bean.
This is why I work with high school students.
So does it matter whether it's a bead, a bean or a raisin? Did he blow? Too bad I don't have video of children of mine who did a similar thing. Posting this 2 days after the fact, so hopefully all is well now. Love ya!
ReplyDelete