Tuesday, August 12

Sublime and Ridiculous

(And really, none of it good.)

Still bucking for the mug.
Haiku Buckaroo contest hosted by My Mommy's Place.

First, the Croatia inspired:

Long shadows follow;
Tired feet carry us home.
Sun-day is over

Wish there was a word
for that slap-thuk-whoo-whoosh sound~
Boats on water

Sun sinking lower
Sky lights orange, yellow, pink
over clear blue ocean


And then the daily vignettes:

Crack, open, pour, whip~
Dip, flip, fry, check, butter, turn!
Open gob. Insert.

Serious? Again?
I burned my hand on the stove!!
Save me from myself!

LAUNDRY! Stand ye warned!
I will conquer, foul monster!
Victory is mine!

Not nearly as fresh
Yet still my lips are smackin'
Leftover spareribs!

While you are sleeping
I watch your breath rise and fall
And I am content.

And now, the epic haiku:

A bead in your nose?
Please, tell me why you did that?

En route to doctor
for removal assistance
I wish you would sneeze!

Open that nostril~
Nothing in there to be seen?
Did you swallow it?

I guess we'll go home
and watch for further symptoms
of nasal blockage.

Please just tell me why
-When I'm parenting alone-
accidents happen?

Finally to sleep
three hours beyond your bedtime
Mama needs a drink!


  1. Easy to handle
    an emergency alone:
    just grab him and go!

    Hopefully the bead
    has reappeared somewhere else.
    You've been checking - right?

  2. You know I did it!
    Just threw him on the bicycle
    and rode to the docs.

    But the errant bead
    Has not made an appearance
    Though I did just flush!

  3. Hahaha. Love these (even though I'm morally opposed to Haikus... or something). Besides the Andrew ones (hilarious!) I'm particularly fond of the boat one. I leave it to you to come up with that word. I know you can do it...


  4. Wow... and I was thinking of participating in the haiku challenge this time around... but seriously, who can compete with you? ;)

  5. smid-
    NO kidding! Gross and terrible and whaaa? Where did it go anyway? In spite of the doctors reassurance that it can happen and it's not a big deal to inhale it through the nasal passage and then swallow it, the whole thing really set me on edge. And, yes, ooged me out a little bit.

    My current favorite in made up words is "SKIDOOSH" but now being an expert on all things KUNG FU PANDA I don't think I get to steal that word and use it as my boat sound. Must. Keep. Thinking.

    *snort* Babe, this is just silliness in rhythm. I recognize fully that I am no real haikuist.I can't wait to read what you write!!

  6. Channeling my mother, she of the made-up words, I was going to say "Ska-THOOK" but that's an awful lot like your "SKIDOOSH" (which I just read). So, either we both have a good ear and vivid verbal imaginations and that's a close approximation or we're both way off base. Or maybe I'm just not channeling my mother well.

    EVERYBODY! Go enter the HB contest! I can testify that the prize mug works really, really well at holding coffee!

  7. Ska-THOOK is definitely the way my flip-flops sound when I walk!

  8. Strange - mine go "Sha-Glip". Both of them sound like that, BTW, not - as some have suggested - one going "Sha-Glip" and the other "Sha-Glop". Are you wearing Dutch flip-flops? Maybe it's just a translation thing.

  9. Italian made actually. And it is definitively a ska-thook. Of course, they also make a lot of wild hand gestures and talk quite loudly.

  10. Ahh...Italian. It is a translation thing, then. But you know they love your feet. (Mine are Ralph Lauren, BTW.)

  11. No sparkly bits. Just very elegant minimal black patent. OK, maybe just a bit shiny cuz they're patent leather but that's it. I can send you a picture, actually ... if you're into that kind of thing.

  12. You are a haiku goddess. I love them. Especially the bead up the nose ones. Ha!

    When Dave was a kid, he got a dime stuck up his nose. His brothers love to tell that story. Somehow, I think they have more to do with it than they let on.

    And! I got your postcard today. Perfect timing. Today was shit. That made it better. Thank you!

  13. P.S. I hope it's okay to say 'shit' on your blog. If not, I'm really sorry, because I did it twice.

  14. leslie-
    Well, shit, now what am I supposed to say?

  15. OMG, Jenn, I was laughing so hard! My first day of teaching I had that same experience with one of the kindergarteners, except it was a bean. And no, it wasn't visible.

    And then it turned out this kid pulled that every. single. day.

    And there was never a bean.

    This is why I work with high school students.

  16. So does it matter whether it's a bead, a bean or a raisin? Did he blow? Too bad I don't have video of children of mine who did a similar thing. Posting this 2 days after the fact, so hopefully all is well now. Love ya!