Thursday, May 1

Where the Heart is

I am part of an ever growing circle of friends. People who seemingly love and accept me as I am and hold no real expectations that I should be something different than just that. These are good, good people in my life.

Some of them I have never met face to face.

But none of them are imaginary.

I remember my imaginary friends. I had many. They were very small, a bit elfish in nature and they all lived in a colony in my closet. They came to play with me quite often, and usually helped me with the more tedious tasks of my five-year-old life. Like when I had to put my socks away.
Later as a school aged kid, I daydreamed often that Michael Jackson was stashed away under my desk helping me grasp the finer points of my education. I am sure it all stemmed from the Jackson Five hit "ABC", but whatever its source, for awhile Michael was the man for me.
Okay, he was a boy and he was imaginary, but whatever.

I suppose we all (if we had them) grow out of (or away from?) our imaginary friends as we learn and gain the skills to make friends (and keep them) in the real world. I haven't seen my imaginary friends in many, many years. Yet still, I remember them fondly.

Somewhere in the growing up years I discovered a book which will likely forever remain my favorite read on this planet. Of course I am referring to The Little Prince by Antoine de St-Exupery.

Best. Book. Ever.

My favorite passage between its pages being the lesson of the fox who teaches the Little Prince (upon his discovery that his flower is not unique at all but is merely a common rose which can be found in multiples in the gardens on earth) that it is the time we waste for our friends which makes them special. The thing which makes them unforgettable. That the time we spend to tame each other and become friends is valuable, maybe even necessary.

Then the fox shares with the Prince in a simple line the one truth I have held firm to for years: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye"

Sentiment worthy of contemplation.

And implementation.

In recent weeks I have experienced a serious roller coaster ride of experience and emotion in my personal life. It's personal so I haven't really shared it, except in cryptic form here at the blog. I still don't intend to share the details but I will say that the surface is smoothing out and my feet are steady underneath me. This last in answer to the "are you okay?" query from a friend last week.

And to be honest, in large measure I am okay because of that circle of friends who asked those kinds of questions and made gestures to send me cards or emails, or picked up the phone to check on me.

Some of those friends are those I have yet to meet. But they all tell me--and I trust this--that they love me for who I am and each of them offered support in whatever best way they could offer it from near or far.

All of them wasted a bit of time for me.

This friendship and community bond I have long waxed poetic about in my life is tangible; real, not imagined. And completely empowering.

To my friends, old and new, near and far, I want you to know I see you rightly.

And you are essential.


  1. The Little Prince makes me cry. You just made me cry.

    And time with you is never, ever a waste. It is a joy.


  2. I'm out there on the edge of your circle, but know that thoughts of well wishes are there.

  3. oh my love! I am here I have plonked myself right in the middle of your life and i can't think of any place i would rather be! You know how i feel about you and your whole family and i know how you feel about me i couldn't ask for anything more from anyone. I am thankful for the day i met you..... you know this.
    beautifully written and very brave... i love you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  4. What SMID said. Time spent with friends is time you will never lose; you keep it in memories. I'm very happy that you're doing better. Very, VERY happy!

    But just so you know, I really am imaginary. No one else sees my comments heree. Did you know that? That doesn't mean I don't love you, though.

  5. hey we sooo urgently need to waste some time on each other. If only I can settle a date with Jan and some of our Dutch friends to go on babyvisit in Zoetermeer, then I'll phone you and see if we can meet. I really hope so!

  6. jami-
    I kind of suspected as such from the likes of you. Does this also mean the imaginary chocolate I was planning to send can now be eaten by the very real me?
    Just askin'.

  7. OH NO! Must have CHOCOLATE! ummm...errr...I mean, just send it and believe and miracles will happen. It will be as if I really am here (or in Houston) and the chocolate will magically disappear! All through faith! (Hey, it works for religion - why not here?)

  8. jami-mah-love
    I do believe in miracles! I do! I do! I believe in you!!
    I also believe this chocolate is very, very tasty. Mmmmmmm.... Oh, wait, are you still there waiting? Oh, man. Sorry.

  9. Jenn - my sweet - I utterly believe in you, too. In fact, my faith is so strong that I think I taste chocolate!

    (The force is strong in this one. So is the bullshit.)

  10. jamidoll-
    This is random, but don't you think someone should write a song about the love of chocolate?
    I am thinking of something along the lines of "summer wine" but of course about chocolate...

  11. Dear one, you may be on to something there! When I was a kid, I used to make up dirty lyrics for popular songs of the day (No - not the minuet!) that were quite good, if I do say so myself. Let me put this concept in the back of my brain and see what comes out.

    Smiling and humming while heading off to hunt down the exact lyrics to "Summer Wine".

  12. Who's this Jami you keep referring to, Jenn?

  13. 1 pic-
    Well, see, I have these imaginary friends....

  14. What a great post on friendship. I agree with you. Friends are essential.
    Wishing you all the OKs in the world, Jenn.

  15. My Jenn -

    I just hope you know that you are one of my very favorite people - always- just as you are!!!


  16. Jenn, you are worth every moment.