Tuesday, June 12

Stupidity in Two Parts

"Babe, I need you to help me sort something out with the new dryer."
"What's going on with the dryer?"
"It's not working."
"It's not working?"
"No. Can you check the fuses for me?"

*check fuses*

"Is that better?"
"I still don't see any lights on it. Maybe we should switch out the extension cord. There is another extension cord downstairs."
"Okay, let's try."

*switch out power cord*

"Now?"
"Still nothing."
"Have you tried plugging it straight into the wall?"
"I did earlier and I got nothing."
"Arrrgh! *bad word*"


*heavy sighs*

"Well, is the washer working?"
"Yes, I think so. It appears to be."
"Let me check the fuse box again."

*check fuses again*

"Okay, that should be it. Try it now."
"Still nothing. There should be lights on. There are always lights on."
"Crap."
"I know."
"When did it stop?"
"Working you mean? Just this afternoon. It was fine and then it wasn't. I don't know what happened."

*clean filters--empty water condenser--rinse all removable parts--shake dryer for good measure*

"I just don't get it."

"Me either"

*additional heavy sighs, with brow wiping*

"Wait a second. Oh, hell, you are KIDDING ME?!"
"What ?"
"I saw lights! Do that again. Move the dial. There! There are the lights. It's on! It's working!"

*snorts of disbelief*

"Okay, see this. The dial is set to "0". Off perhaps? Holy crap--It's not broken, it just got turned off.! I am such a dork. I didn't even consider this! Oh, my dorkiness has reached epic proportions with this one. Sheesh! That's never happened before. What happened here?

Oh, wait. I know.
AAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDRRRREEEEWWWW!"

*cue laugh track*


The above vignette comes complete with stage directions for your reenactment pleasure. Just grab a partner and enjoy a read through. It has also been edited for content and time because if I told the full truth about just how long it took for us me to notice that the switch was in the OFF position, well, you just wouldn't buy it. You could not willingly suspend the disbelief to get your mind around that kind of stupidity. Truly, you would say "Surely that couldn't happen. Dorkiness at this level just doesn't exist".

You would of course be dead wrong.

Welcome to my world.

23 comments:

  1. This wouldn't have happened to have been at some absurdly early hour of the morning would it?

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  2. No, but indeed it happened after a long day--long week even--of being cooped up in the house with a sick, and bored pre-schooler. It's time you knew friends that I am a bear of very little brain.

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  3. OK- you said you thought you were me... well you really are.
    Here's what you did last month. You have a very expensive super fancy custom built computer for your work that you dragged to Italy from the US. Last month it started acting strange. The cursor was stuck on the screen and moved in a funny hopscotch pattern. You tried EVERYTHING. Even read the INSTRUCTIONS. Convinced your computer had a fatal virus, you take it to the computer geeks downtown, crying all the way. You have transferred your entire office to your children's slow, crappy computer and you have huge deadlines looming. You don't sleep, and when you do, you have computer funeral nightmares.
    A week later, your geek calls and says... uh, there's NOTHING wrong with it. You go downtown, pay him, and bring your baby home. As you plug in all the cables and cords, you notice something on your desk- Is that the cordless mouse receiver thingamajig that has FALLEN BEHIND THE DESK AND IS WEDGED AGAINST THE WALL?? Where it CAN'T PICK UP THE MOUSE SIGNAL??
    You are a complete idiot, and don't tell anyone that you are faking it, once again, through this grown-up thing.

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  4. Okay, this is one of the areas where we differ. I spend a great deal of my time and Mommy energy trying to get my kids to turn things off, and there you are yelling at your smart little man for turning off the dryer. Granted it might not yet have been time to turn off the dryer, and of course you had all the anguish and forehead slapping until you finally realized it was turned off, not to mention the watercooler story that your husband gets to add to his collection ("You think that's dumb, last week my wife..."), but you fail to realise what an accomplishment poor little Andrew had achieved. Just remind yourself of this occasion 10 years from now when you walk around the house turning off every appliance and light switch in the house, and realise that at one time you fussed at him for turning something off!! Hug the little blog-fodder for me!

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  5. jennifer-
    That is freaking me out, cause that could TOTALLY BE ME! I did a similar thing with a sewing machine once, took it in for a repair because it wasn't working AT ALL, only to have the guy call and say "it's running fine". So I picked it up and took it home and it was STILL BROKEN, so I called him up and ranted a little bit and took it back to the shop, at which time he set it up, threaded it and ran it. PERFECT. I took the thing home quite sheepishly realizing that I had been threading it incorrectly. Once the bobbin was spinning in the right direction, amazingly, there was nothing wrong with the machine.
    Very little brain, I tell ya!

    becca-
    Yes, yes, you are right. Lucky for him he was snoring in bed at the moment of realization, or he might have gotten a scolding. Oh, who am I kidding? That kid is too cute to scold. Never would have happened.

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  6. I just LOVE your world. It's nice to visit even while on vacation.

    And yes, I believe you are that dorky. Aren't we all?

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  7. leslie-
    Sheesh, coming from you, that is quite a compliment.

    SMID-
    Yup. Perhaps you know me too well. Dork could well be my middle name.

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  8. Hahahahaha. Oh, Jenn. This is too funny. At least you had the presence of mind to realize what a great blog post it would make, right?

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  9. Appliance disphasia... the female analog to male refrigerator blindness (where's the mustard? it's in the door. No it's not! Yes it is. No it's not--I've looked. Whereupon the woman of the house is required to remove herself from the comfort of the sofa and the pleasure of her book to point out... the mustard... in the door of the refrigerator.).

    Glad that all was rapidly restored to order in your house!

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  10. I didn't even know a dryer had an "off" switch, how's that for a dork?

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  11. Hi Jenn-

    I just linked my latest post to you- this is just too me!

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  12. ROFLOL! Just who do you think you are, Jenn? ME????? 'Cause you *know* this would happen to me. What with birds all up in my hair and all.
    Blessings,
    ~Toni~
    (who also once tripped over her dog while trying to get to her baby half asleep in the middle of the night and knocked herself cleeeeeeean out).

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  13. Very funny...at least all the parts got nicely rinsed :p.

    Jennifer: that is an indcredible funny story too.

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  14. brill-
    yes, I must admit, even before the last syllable of the conversation was uttered (which I will not confess to you because it was a naughty word!) I knew that I would be posting about my stupidity. In reading this blog, you might gather that I don't mind sharing that part of me.:)

    anno-
    Snort! And guffaw! That was luscious!

    rl-
    Uh... yeah, apparently neither did I friend.

    jennifer-
    Thanks for the link love, my twin.

    toni-
    Woah! Youch! Lady, even your comments crack me up completely!

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  15. gb-
    Yes, I suppose it was all due for a good cleaning anyway!
    Jennifer is HILARIOUS isn't she?

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  16. You probably went without a dryer for a week before realizing it was off.

    I can just see you, hanging up everything to dry. Only washing what was "necessary" to get through the crisis.

    Tee hee.

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  17. ct-
    Sheesh! Don't make it sound worse than it already was! Silly me.

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  18. Oh man, that laugh track was the best part of the entire scene. Will be great in reruns!

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  19. That is so something that would happen in our house! I'm glad it was that and that you didn't have a costly repair bill. Hmm...I wonder if there's another off switch that I'm not aware of that's the reason for our treadmill not working yet again even though we just had it fixed a few months ago.

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  20. Our version? The plug is unplugged... and is the last thing ever checked.

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  21. Yes...well... check the most OBVIOUS thing last, I always say.

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